You. Are. Amazing.

As. you. are.
Stronger than you know.
More beautiful than you think.
Worthier than you believe.
More loved than you can ever imagine.
Passionate about making a difference.
Fiery when protecting those you love.
Learning. Growing. Not alone.
Warm. Giving. Generous.
Quirky. Sexy. Funny. Smart.
Flawed. Whole. Scared. Brave.
And so, so, so. Much. More.

Be Strong. Be Confident. Be You.

~ Copyright: Tia Sparkles Singh, 2011

* I would like to dedicate this to my dear friends Britt and Stack.  I love you guys! :-) *

"Love"

"There are those in this world whose 'love' is not only a wicked lie, but is a cover for unpardonable vindictiveness, a secret desire to cause pain, a sadism.  There are those who are not to be trusted for a single moment, for they are innately malignant as well as hypocritical.  They are the "whited sepulchre" of whom Our Lord spoke with such anger and scorn.  Give in to them for a moment, doubt that they are entirely evil, tolerantly admit they might be right in one thing -- and they will fall upon you, believing your defenses are down and you have surrendered yourself as a victim.  They love victims."- Taylor Caldwell

Humans

"One thing monsters and humans have in common is the fact that both are capable of destruction. We all leave a ton of carnage in our wake. The difference is that a human feels bad about the pain they cause. They wanna repair the damage, put a band-aid on it. It might not be that easy. The quick fix doesn't always work. Once you've open some doors, you can never close them again. A monster, a real monster doesn't give a damn about the havoc it wreaks. The blood it spills. The hardest thing about knowing that you are capable of inflicting pain, death even, is constantly trying to avoid doing such a thing. Especially when every fiber of your being wants to hurt and consume everyone it comes into contact with." - #BeingHuman

Happily ever after

“We all remember the bedtime stories of our childhoods. The shoe fits Cinderella. The frog turns into a prince. Sleeping Beauty is awakened with a kiss. Once upon a time. And then they lived happily every after. Fairy tales. The stuff of dreams. The problem is, fairy tales don’t come true.

It’s the other stories. The ones that begin with dark and stormy nights and end in the unspeakable. It’s the nightmares that always seem to become reality.

The person that invented the phrase “Happily ever after,” should have his ass kicked – so hard.
---
Once upon a time. Happily ever after. The stories we tell are the stuff of dreams. Fairy tales don’t come true. Reality is much stormier. Much murkier. Much scarier. Reality. It’s so much more interesting than living happily ever after.” - #GreysAnatomy

Who you are

“Where do I belong? Where do I fit? Who are my people? Where do my loyalties lie? We all choose our tribe. It's that need to belong, to live within boundaries, cause it's scary on the outside, on the fringes. Some labels are forced on us. They mock us, set us apart 'til we're like ghosts, drifting through other people's lives. But only if we let the labels hold. You can piss your whole life away trying out who you might be. It's when you've worked out who you are that you can really start to live.” - #BeingHuman

WHORE!!!

I don't think there's anything left to say ;-)

No, Fuck You - Written by David Benioff

Last month a friend posted on Lamebook a clip of one of my all time favorite movie monologues (25th Hour).  Thank you Mr. Benioff!!!!!

Play, read, and enjoy (WARNING: This is NOT for the sensitive or weak skinned so if you have a stick up your ass, then skip this post.)

"Fuck you and this whole city and everyone in it.
Fuck the panhandlers, grubbing for money, and smiling at me behind my back.
Fuck squeegee men dirtying up the clean windshield of my car. Get a fucking job!
Fuck the Sikhs and the Pakistanis bombing down the avenues in decrepit cabs, curry steaming out their pores and stinking up my day. Terrorists in fucking training. Slow the fuck down!
Fuck the Chelsea boys with their waxed chests and pumped up biceps. Going down on each other in my parks and on my piers, jingling their dicks on my Channel 35.
Fuck the Korean grocers with their pyramids of overpriced fruit and their tulips and roses wrapped in plastic. Ten years in the country, still no speaky English?
Fuck the Russians in Brighton Beach. Mobster thugs sitting in cafés, sipping tea in little glasses, sugar cubes between their teeth. Wheelin' and dealin' and schemin'. Go back where you fucking came from!
Fuck the black-hatted Chassidim, strolling up and down 47th street in their dirty gabardine with their dandruff. Selling South African apartheid diamonds!
Fuck the Wall Street brokers. Self-styled masters of the universe. Michael Douglas, Gordon Gecko wannabe mother fuckers, figuring out new ways to rob hard working people blind. Send those Enron assholes to jail for fucking life! You think Bush and Cheney didn't know about that shit? Give me a fucking break! Tyco! Imclone! Adelphia! Worldcom!
Fuck the Puerto Ricans. 20 to a car, swelling up the welfare rolls, worst fuckin' parade in the city. And don't even get me started on the Dom-in-i-cans, because they make the Puerto Ricans look good.
Fuck the Bensonhurst Italians with their pomaded hair, their nylon warm-up suits, and their St. Anthony medallions. Swinging their, Jason Giambi, Louisville slugger, baseball bats, trying to audition for the Sopranos.
Fuck the Upper East Side wives with their Hermés scarves and their fifty-dollar Balducci artichokes. Overfed faces getting pulled and lifted and stretched, all taut and shiny. You're not fooling anybody, sweetheart!
Fuck the uptown brothers. They never pass the ball, they don't want to play defense, they take fives steps on every lay-up to the hoop. And then they want to turn around and blame everything on the white man. Slavery ended one hundred and thirty seven years ago. Move the fuck on!
Fuck the corrupt cops with their anus violating plungers and their 41 shots, standing behind a blue wall of silence. You betray our trust!
Fuck the priests who put their hands down some innocent child's pants. Fuck the church that protects them, delivering us into evil. And while you're at it, fuck JC! He got off easy! A day on the cross, a weekend in hell, and all the hallelujahs of the legioned angels for eternity! Try seven years in fuckin Otisville, Jay!
Fuck Osama Bin Laden, Alqueda, and backward-ass, cave-dwelling, fundamentalist assholes everywhere. On the names of innocent thousands murdered, I pray you spend the rest of eternity with your seventy-two whores roasting in a jet-fueled fire in hell. You towel headed camel jockeys can kiss my royal, Irish ass!
Fuck Jacob Elinski, whining malcontent.
Fuck Francis Xavier Slaughtery, my best friend, judging me while he stares at my girlfriend's ass.
Fuck Naturel Rivera. I gave her my trust and she stabbed me in the back. Sold me up the river. Fucking bitch.
Fuck my father with his endless grief, standing behind that bar. Sipping on club soda, selling whiskey to firemen and cheering the Bronx Bombers.
Fuck this whole city and everyone in it. From the row houses of Astoria to the penthouses on Park Avenue. From the projects in the Bronx to the lofts in Soho. From the tenements in Alphabet City to the brownstones in Park slope to the split levels in Staten Island. Let an earthquake crumble it. Let the fires rage. Let it burn to fuckin ash then let the waters rise and submerge this whole, rat-infested place."

Butters is MY Valentine :-)

Some of us are single on a day like this.  So what!  Who says that Valentines Day is just for the lovebirds?  Isn't it all about love? Well, love comes in all forms.  Family love, friend love, whatever love.  Well, this year I am proud to say that My Butters is my Valentine. 


I found this article online while browsing around.  Hope you enjoy and it makes you smile :-)

10 Reasons Why My Dog Is My Valentine: 

The following article was written by Keegan Baur.

1. My dog joyously greets me every time I come home.
2. My dog is always in the mood to cuddle.
3. My dog never leaves the toilet seat up.
4. My dog enjoys long walks on the beach.
5. My dog never complains about my cooking.
6. My dog helps me clean up spills in the kitchen.
7. My dog keeps me warm at night and never steals the covers.
8. My dog shares my belief that there's never a wrong time for a nap.
9. My dog doesn't fight with me about what show we should watch on TV.
10. My dog loves me unconditionally.

Thank you Baby Butters for being my companion, my partner and my very best friend!  There's no one like you!  You're one of a kind, baby.  One of a kind!

True colors

"Most people can't do it, cover up their true feelings pretend they are something they are not. But it doesn't change who you are or what you are. If you hate what you are you will do anything to deny it. You'll feed the lie until it becomes real. But who you are, doesn't go away. It waits for you. We put so much work into hiding what's really there, a new coat of paint on rotted wood, creative accounting, the comb-over. But then you realize that lie you spent so much time crafting.... In the end, the only person your lie ever fools... Is you." - #BeingHuman

Expectations

I remember when back in the day I would bump onto some cute guy online and set up a date. And I would rush to the store to buy a nice shirt. And how on the day of, I’d feel a little nervous and go through topics to talk about (in my head). I’d put on some make-up, and make my hair look nice. I would even wear perfume (and I’m not one to like perfume). We would meet and then (1) he didn’t look like he did on the pictures; (2) he had no manners, a/k/a was a total asshole; (3) he lied about his height – shorter than me; (4) the chemistry was just not there. Back to square one. Rinse, lather, repeat. REPEAT. Over and over and over again. Can you relate?

When dating… How high are your expectations? Mine are floor level. Or probably subway tunnel level. As in two stories underground. You know… Where there is absolutely no cell phone coverage. That’s how low they are. That’s what I’ve learned from 5 years of endless dating.

I’ve heard and read over and over again that we, as dating human beings, should not expect too much of the one we are going out with. Even though now I agree with this stupid statement, I can’t help but wonder from time to time, WHY THE HELL NOT??? Why can’t we expect to have a great date? Great conversation? Why can’t I expect to (and I’m not speaking for myself cause this bears no value to me, but I know it does for other women) have my date open the door for me? Or pull my chair as I sit at our table? Why can’t we expect that the MAN will take the reigns of the date and PLAN something amazing and/or fun for us? Why can’t we expect that he will show up holding a single flower for this magnificent woman he’s about to meet? Why can’t we expect for him to WOW us? Why can’t we expect for him to walk us outside and put us in a cab, or walk us to the train/bus station? Why can’t we expect that they will pick up the coffee bill? Or the dinner/lunch/drinks bill? Aren’t we worth most (if not all) of these things – and then some? Well, I know I’M worth it, but if he lacks on all (or most) of these basics, then perhaps, he’s not worth MY time.

I’ve learned that having some expectations is a good thing - just don’t have the expectations connected to another human being or you could be terribly disappointed. Expect to have the most amazing guacamole your taste buds have ever had the pleasure of tasting. Expect to have a delicious alcoholic beverage. Expect to taste the best cup of coffee in town. Expect to discover a new place you know for sure your best friend would love. Expect to smile at least just once. Expect to go home at a decent time. Know yourself, and the things that you know will make you happy no matter what. Enjoy the time with your date even if the one sitting across from you is not what/who he said he was, or if there’s simply no chemistry to work with. “My date is just unbearable!” you say? Well excuse yourself, stand up, walk away. There’s no need to be polite or “nice” if you’re feeling miserable. You won’t see him again. Just. Walk. Away.

Scars

“We meet people, and fall in love, and when we part they leave marks for us to remember them by. Our lovers sculpt us, they define us, for better or worse. Like a pinball, we slam into them and rebound in our different directions, propelled by the contact, and after the parting we might be scared, stronger or more fragile, or needy, or angry, or guilty, but never unchanged. Our lovers linger inside us, like ghosts, haunting the corridors and deserted rooms, sometimes whispering, sometimes screaming, but always there, waiting...” - #BeingHuman

Available

Single married man is looking for naughty times.  Please take note that this sweet gentleman WILL and CAN skip out on work (he must love them quickies) for the *ahem* "right girl"

I give him an A in the honesty department.

Now, if only all men where this honest, we would know what we are dealing with.

Freedom

""Freedom" its just a pretty way of saying you've gone off the grid. For better or for worse, you're out of options. But we call it "freedom," we write songs about it. You probably crank them in your car, and never thought about it much. Some people think its exhilarating, not having your future mapped out. Others start to drown in all that nothing. Maybe you'll enjoy for a moment the purity of doing what you want, when u want. Beer for breakfast, sex in the afternoon. But obligations sneak up... duty, moral code. Some of us are wired to put ourselves back into cages. "Freedom" is just that moment of calm before the dread sets in. Because no matter what you freed yourself from, you only get so far down the open road, car windows down, music blasting, before you are forced to take a turn, make a choice, and sentence yourself to the next adventure." - #BeingHuman

Peeves

“Great” guys come with annoying habits. I can’t help that I get turned off by the littlest things. Sue me if you can, HA!

When dating, one can’t avoid certain people until after you met them. We’ve all met the assholes, the douches and the players. The “magicians” and the stalkers. The aspiring actors and musicians… You name it we’ve met them. Now this post is not to be focused on the negative traits of a man, but how a “positive” can be viewed as a “negative.” Here are three examples:

Subject No. 1 – The “LOL” guy

I guess he liked to laugh out loud a lot? He was nice. Attentive. Talkative. A lil short for my taste (5’7”), but overall, a good guy. He lived with his mom (which is a no-no for me), yet, I was willing to overlook that “flaw” and try it out. Then I come to learn he’s a serial texter. 24/7 texting left and right, and with every text he sent, there was always that “LOL” right at the end. Was he really laughing when he told me he went to get a haircut? Or when he said he likes to drink coffee? Or when he said he wanted to see me again? *sigh* You get the drift.

Subject No. 2 – The “You’re great” guy

Too much of a good thing can be a bad thing. This one was a nice guy too. From out of state which made him appealing to my eyes. A lil too eager to please me though… to the point of doing things he was obviously not into just to make me “happy.” What that really did was send me away… far away from him. That, and the fact that he would say “You’re great” every twenty minutes. I don’t know about you, but I don’t need to hear how great I am two to three times per hour. I look into his eyes, I’m great. I hand him a napkin, I’m great. I light his cigarette, I’m great. I smile at him, I’m great. I fucking fart, I’m great. *EYEROLL*

Subject No. 3 – the “R U Ok?” guy

A friend making fun of the situation.

Have you ever gotten that middle of a work day text from a guy that you couldn’t reply to, and then he sends two other texts as a follow up to his first one? Only to send a fourth one asking “R U Ok?” Well, no. I’m not Ok. Sadly I’m at work. Busy. Swamped actually. I want to murder everybody around me cause I’m in a pissy mood, and quite frankly your constant texting while I’m trying to concentrate in the gazillion files I have to go through while working on that God forsaken spreadsheet… is not helping. How about when he sends you the “R U Ok?” text after you have been unable to reply for about an hour because you are in the middle of doing your errands or while tending a long phone call with your mother. Why wouldn’t I be ok? I’m going about my day and trying to do everything I need to do because I have a date with you tonight. I’ve also gotten the “Are you mad at me?” text from this same guy when I was unable to reply to three of his texts when I was at the movies with a friend of mine. Yes, I did tell “R U Ok?” dude I would be at the movies. Now, why would I be mad when I’m having a good time with my friend?

Clinginess and adoration are sooooooooooooo not necessary in a relationship. Not a new “one” or an “old” one. I am an individual. Strong and independent. Maybe independent to a fault, but I find that being one of my best traits. I am looking for someone to compliment my life, kinda like a cell phone add-on works. I am not looking for someone to complete me since I came out of the womb whole.

I suppose these guys would be an amazing fit for those females that need constant attention and emotional reinforcement. Me? I. AM. OK!

Changes

Today I am feeling a ‘lil blue. So, instead of writing a rabid rant or an angry complaint, I’m simply going to diary my feelings… here.

Ever since I can remember I’ve been a loner. I enjoy my time alone. When I was a little kid, I played alone, and I was happy. I remember my mom always “complaining” about how I always only had one friend. I never really cared. I was happy with having that one friend. And so I dragged that trait of mine until 8th grade, when my circle of friends grew to the grand number of four. Now, don’t get me wrong. I knew other kids, but I only confided and cared for the very few I held close to me. In High School my circle of friends grew, and in college I went back to my “old” ways and my circle became smaller… more quaint. After graduation, I moved to the States. Who would’ve known how hard it would be to make friends as an adult… In a country somewhat hard to understand. But I made my way, and I’ve met wonderful people. Today, I have a total of four close friends (three girls and a boy) who I very much care deeply for.

Recently, a friend who I learned to love like a little sister revealed that she was working on getting accepted at some grad school on the West Coast. To better her future. To become independent. I was extremely happy for her. I AM EXTREMELY HAPPY FOR HER. I also felt a little sadness since her moving to the West Coast means that I won’t get to see her for a while. She won’t be around. I wont be able to grab a drink with her, or go shopping, or cook for her, or have slumber nights (cause yes, I am an adult, but I do enjoy movie nights with an ice cream bowl in hand and maybe a cup full of booze in the other.) Regardless, I am happy for her. I hope she gets accepted in that school. She deserves a better life.

Yesterday another close friend dropped the bomb that she was too thinking of moving… TO FUCKING IRELAND… THIS SUMMER! This Summer?!?!? OMG this fucking Summer!!! When she leaves, (oh my dear friend), who am I going to voice my complaints to? NOBODY gets ME the way she does. NOBODY understands the dating shit I go through like she does. FUCK, we go through the same shit! IRELAND?!?! I will miss you terribly. I keep telling myself “we have email,” but it won’t be the same. Nothing beats having her across the table from me, narrating horror dating stories, laughing till our abs hurt at our men misfortunes. Who am I going to text to tune in Discovery ID to watch how horrific humans are? Or to tune in channel whatever to watch Celebrity Ghosts Stories (or any ghost show)? WHO? Regardless of this, I know and totally understand why she’s doing this, and totally support her decision. But I can’t help being saddened by this news. I wish her well, and hope she finds what she’s looking for… what we are ALL looking for.

There you have it. That’s two of my close friends leaving in 6-8 months. Two friends I love dearly. Two friends I don’t want to lose. What am I going to do without them? All I can do now is try to spend as much time with them as I can, and strengthen our friendships bond, to endure the absence and long distance.

Good luck to you both in your future endeavors. I’m pretty sure our paths will cross again in the future.

Seriously!

Specially when dating! HA!

90 Day Contract

Now HERE's a book I'd buy.

And I might as well just do that. Sounds interesting.

UPDATE: I bought the book about 30 minutes ago. Can't wait to receive it and devour it! (Not literally, of course. I don't feed on paper. That would be weird.)

Anywhos, here's the author's facebook.

FFFFF???

No fucking clue what "FFFFF" means but take a look at this picture on the right.

Yeah, this is a single man, with a public online dating profile, sharing this... uh.... picture, with potential girlfriends.  Now, I get it...  She's your Best Friend Forever but...  I'm sorry, but this picture doesn't give me any good feelings.  

I'm not the jealous type, but, seriously???  This is the type of picture I would take with a boyfriend of mine or someone I'm dating and certainly not with a "friend".

Looking a little too cozy over there.  Maybe dude should take down the profile and date his "friend"?

I dunno...  In a world where everything is no longer black or white, and where "lines" get blurred left and right, and in a world where I keep getting propositioned by taken men, this type of profile picture really rubs me the wrong way.

Am I overreacting?

Oh boy

So I've decided to put up my online dating profile again.

You think I'll need a bigger one?  

Here I go!  Let the [word of choice here] times roll!

"A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE" by Pamela Redmond Satran

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …

Enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..

Something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..

A youth she’s content to leave behind and a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to retelling it in her old age.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .

A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …

One friend who always makes her laugh… and one who lets her cry…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ….

A good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …

Eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal, that will make her guests feel honored…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …

A feeling of control over her destiny.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

How to fall in love without losing herself.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

How to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

When to try harder… and WHEN TO WALK AWAY…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

That she can’t change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

That her childhood may not have been perfect…but its over.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

What she would and wouldn’t do for love or more.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

How to live alone… even if she doesn’t like it.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

Whom she can trust, whom she can’t, and why she shouldn’t take it personally.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

Where to go...  be it to her best friend’s kitchen table or a charming inn in the woods, when her soul needs soothing…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

What she can and can’t accomplish in a day, a month, and a year.