Lies

‎"One of mankind's greatest abilities is the power to lie. Whether is for good or bad... profit or survival. We bend the truth. It's a skill we pick up early and hone over time, pulling the wool over the eyes of our parents, our teachers, our boss, even ourselves. We tell ourselves we"ll lose weight, quit smoking. That at the end of the day we are really a good person...What happens when we call our own bluff? When we can't convince ourselves that deep down, we really aren't the stuff of nightmares?" - Being Human

Guns blazing

Am I supposed to be attracted to you? Mister look-at-this-big-long-riffle-I'm-holding-like-a-trophy? Are you lacking in another… *AHEM* department? Stop being such a creep! Women are getting killed by crazy wackos now days. If you had half a brain, you'd take that picture down. But you won't, so I'll just keep laughing at your sorry self.

Damn you, Grey!

“There’s a reason I said I’d be happy alone. It wasn’t cause I thought id be happy alone. It was because I thought that if I loved someone … and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It’s easier to be alone. Because what if you learn that you need love… and then you don’t have it? What if you like it… and lean on it? What if you shape your life around it and then… it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It’s like dying. The only difference is… death ends. This? It could go on forever.” – Grey’s Anatomy

Say that again?

This chat lasted about eight minutes.

A Brooklyn guy contacts me. He’s cute. I reply. He asks where in the city I work, I proceed to tell him. He asks what I am on the site for. I say I’m not entirely sure but I think an easy flowy conversation over a drink would be a nice way to start anything… if anything. He asks if I know the “Q” train. Uhhh… Yes? And then he proceeds to tell me to take the Q train to… uh... Brooklyn. Excuse me??? I live in Jersey you self centered ass!

Can someone explain to me why a guy would expect a woman to go to them for a first date? For some reason I keep bumping onto idiots that want me to go for a drink on their neck of the woods. Whatever happened to the middle ground? So I live in Jersey and you live in Brooklyn/Queens/Bronx… Can’t we just meet somewhere in Manhattan? As in Midtown/Downtown/Uptown?

Dating in this city SUCKS!

Never fails.

So last week I “bumped” onto some 28 y/o kid online. I was browsing through the guys and saw his picture, saved his profile to read later but then he emailed me asking why I “saved” him and didn’t write. So I proceeded to inform him that I sometimes save profiles to read later since I like to actually read profiles before making any contacts. Anyways, we ended up emailing throughout the whole day and the next morning he asked for my phone number. And the texting marathon started. Three days in a row w constant texting/emailing from 8ish am till 10ish pm, and then… NOTHING.

Where did he go?

Boys!!!

I'd like to give a shout out to the Daily News for picking my name out of however many, and making me a winer of four Yankee game tickets! Now, this one's not too fond of sports, let alone baseball, but I figured, there'll be a lot of men/boys there and what could be a better place to mingle with the oposite sex? Well, I don't know how much mingling one can do while these animal's testosterone raises to the highest levels imaginable, but I'm pretty sure I'll have good times with my 3 girl friends while holding an overpriced hot dog in one hand and an overpriced warm beer in the other. Is it quitting time yet???

So which one is it?

Sometimes I wonder… Why the ones that we don’t want are the ones that want us? Or… Is it that the ones that want us, we don’t want? I guess the question is, are we (or in this particular case, am I) emotionally available and/or able to open up and let someone in?

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not taking my words back. Yes, men are still assholes and players. But I am also aware that there are (even tho they are very very very few left) good and nice guys out there, which I have had the privilege to cross paths with… and kept on walking.

I dunno. I wonder if the time will come when I’m ready to jump, and if that day comes, will there be someone down there to catch me?

Running

So I found one and I don’t want it. Go figure! Lol. Almost three months ago I started corresponding with this guy I met online. A call here and there became a call every day, and so we started this telehone courting thing. I kept hearing over and over again “we have to go out soon”, “we have to meet soon”, “I can’t wait to meet you”, but no plans were ever made. Then one day, he mentions an actual day to meet. I say yes, then he never contacts me the day of. Ok. Calls keep coming. We keep talking. Text messages ignored. First rings are ignored as well. Someone always had to call someone back. Then I suggest a day for a date. He says, yes. The day comes and I get cancellation text. Now I’m curious. Why is this man who calls me every night and have hour long conversations with (even though I am not a phone person), can’t follow through our date plans. So I decide to wait (very out of character for me). Then again, I have nothing else better to do. And oh boy do I love a mystery!

The day comes! Finally! Almost 2 months after initial contact. First date, pretty normal. Food and pool game. Nothing out of the ordinary or extraordinary. Just two adults, eating, drinking, having conversation and enjoying the afternoon. Things that made me "stop short": (1) he held my hand *and God knows how uncomfortable a stranger touching me makes me*; (2) he asked for a hug… without my coat on. Yes, it was requested of me to take my coat off for this hug. HUH???; and, (3) the comment was made that if I had a list of guys I was talking to, he’d hope that list comes down to only one name soon. Yes, in less than two hours after physically meeting.

Whatever. We kissed good night and then I sent myself home. Later that night, the phone rings. Its him. I think “Odd”. He tells me he had a good time and wants to go out again. Mentions a hiking trip and of course I'm game. He finds the need to tell me how great a kisser I am… Uhhh… Ok? We say good night and that’s that for the day. Date number two comes with no cancellations. I figured that’s a good sign. We go on our hiking trip. He gets us lost. I start shittin bricks cause now I’m in the woods with a stranger and go thru escape scenarios in my head. With no need really because this guy is… harmless. He says he’s really interested in me, like seriously. Uh… this is our second date. How can he know this? I brush it off. He holds my hand more and more. I feel a ‘lil weird about it cause, well, I’m not used to it but I say “fuck it.” He hugs and kisses and holds my hands and tells me he doesn’t want me to date other people. He talks about future dates and how he wants to see me, not just the weekends but during the week as well. How he wants to do different activities every time we see each other. How he wants to cook for me and massage me and all this stuff. How he belives in marriage and how he wants to have two kids... Is all this serious talk really necessary so early?

Isn't this what I wanted? What I’ve been searching for? Yeah, pretty much. So, why am I turned off? Why do I not want to go out w this guy, that’s interested in me (and only me – according to him)? My head is spinning!

From now on, I'll try to never ever forget one of my precious online dating rules. Never spend more than two weeks talking to a guy without meeting him. It will prove to be wasted time. If you can manage to meet this "prince" within a week of first contact, even better.

I gotta look more into this.