Just a hole

Some jokes are better to be left for when you actually KNOW someone.

I mean... I have never corresponded with this guy.  I don't know him at all.  So why is he sending me an introductory email saying "Lets make some babies"???  Lets add, had he even bothered to READ my profile, he would have seen that I do NOT want to have kids. 

This is a bad start... Baaaad start.

Back on the dating train

Well shoot me now and put me out of my misery!

It's a new year and I just found out, once again (after throwing in the towel for a few months) that dating doesn't get any better. No matter with what mind-frame I come into it, the results are the same. It's mind boggling. The question keeps popping in my head... "ARE THERE ANY "NORMAL"-REGULAR-RESPECTFUL-NICE-HONEST MEN OUT THERE?!?!?!!"

*sigh* Nevermind I asked that question. Moving on... As i was saying, I am back on the dating train, and with that, my online profile up and public. A lot more simpler, a lot less words, a lot less honest... a lot mellower... Lets see what bites.

In the meantime, while browsing the swamp of online profiles, I found this: >  >  > >

Hmmm... You think this qualifies as one of those "Things I will regret in the next two years" type list? I think so.

Oh boy

So I've decided to put up my online dating profile again.

You think I'll need a bigger one?  

Here I go!  Let the [word of choice here] times roll!

Dumpsville

Well it's a new season of The Bachelor.  Being Monday and all, and having nothing better to do, why not watch?

I have to admit I enjoy watching all these... um...  emotionally unbalanced, catty, ridiculous, petty women compete for the "love" (more like attention) of one man that got dumped on the very same show, on national television.  Heartbreak and rejection is bad enough when you go through it behind closed doors.  I can't even imagine what type of desperation will move these women to go through the embarrassment of being rejected, played with, and used by some idiot.  Ok, a hot idiot, but an idiot nonetheless.  Whateverssss.  Makes for entertaining TV... Hell, I'm watching!

One scene caught my eye while watching the show and doing some "research" for this blog, where one of the contestants is talking about how her last boyfriend broke up with her.  He did so via text saying "Babe, welcome to Dumpsville... population... YOU."  Total douche!  I can't even imagine how I would react to such text.  Lets just be happy that has not happened to me.

Kinda made me think of that Sex and the City episode (now how GREAT was that show!?!?) where Carrie got dumped via post-it.

Ladies... we are not even worth a face to face break up nowadays.  Sad notion.  Sad.

Just keel me

So it’s Wednesday, and I’ve been cranky since Monday morning… what else is new?

I dunno, but there’s just something about the forces of the universe that I swear just LOVES to mess with my inner “peace”, well… the very little wee bits I have left. Today thanks to the #VillageVoice I come to learn that cell phone service is alive underground. Yes… now, not only do I have to hear loud inconsiderate bastards’ one way conversations in buses, I’ll be able to hear them yap away while cramped like sardines in the subways too. YAY! You read right my dear friends… someone will be yapping away right in your fucking ear in a subway near you. Like subway riding wasn’t annoying enough. Happy travels!!!

More of it here.

"A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE" by Pamela Redmond Satran

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …

Enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..

Something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..

A youth she’s content to leave behind and a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to retelling it in her old age.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .

A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …

One friend who always makes her laugh… and one who lets her cry…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ….

A good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …

Eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal, that will make her guests feel honored…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …

A feeling of control over her destiny.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

How to fall in love without losing herself.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

How to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

When to try harder… and WHEN TO WALK AWAY…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

That she can’t change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

That her childhood may not have been perfect…but its over.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

What she would and wouldn’t do for love or more.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

How to live alone… even if she doesn’t like it.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

Whom she can trust, whom she can’t, and why she shouldn’t take it personally.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

Where to go...  be it to her best friend’s kitchen table or a charming inn in the woods, when her soul needs soothing…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

What she can and can’t accomplish in a day, a month, and a year.

Someone needs to go back to school

The other day I had down time at work and decided to read all the emails that slipped thru the cracks while I emailed people I was attracted to physically.  THIS is one of the replies I got:

"Hey i just joined this site the other day not to continue to type i hate computer this aint no (computer love)its a song lol, if we hit it off i leave u my number maybe so where abouts in jers, do u live and dig ur profile, leaving me that ur down to have fun, and no games, and blunt, thats cool with me, ps dont mind the pic only got one update it soon"

I guess some people don't give a shit about first impressions.

Go back to school, kiddo!

Yet another douche

A week and a half ago (around 6pm), on a rainy gloomy day, I went on a date with a guy that physically was not my type. No, he was not ugly. Just not my type. I said yes to a date because I figured I had nothing to lose. All I expected to get out of the date was conversation and a buzz.

Well, the date went well. No weirdness. Pretty comfortable. A few laughs. He seemed grounded. Overall... Good times.

At the end of the date, he walks me to the bus station so I can get my tipsy ass back to Jersey and as I'm about to walk away he stops me and asks for a second date. Yes my dears... He asked for a second date at the end of our first. I was surprised since this never happened to me before (to my recollection). We picked Monday - same time.

Monday 8:45pm
J: Just got home from work trip. How are you?

My thoughts? This asshole is texting me almost 3 hours after we were supposed to meet and has totally disregarded the fact that... well... we didn't meet! I was seeing red due to this, so I decided to not text back till I chilled.

Tuesday 4:51pm
S: I'm good. Thought we had a date yesterday. Just saying.
J: We did, was supposed to be done. Should have called.
S: Yah. A call or a text would have been appreciated.
J: Apologies. All i can say. Work trip during the day, flight didn't land till i texted.

Ok so now, not only do I know that he didn't "forget" about our date, but on top of that, I am certain that he decided to act like nothing happened. This douche's behavior proves to me that he has no respect for me, nor values or has any consideration for my time.

IF this whole "work trip" is actually true, wouldn't texting before boarding the plane and saying "sorry i can't make it" be the considerate thing to do? Or if that totally slipped your mind, then, how about "I'm sorry about tonight. I was out of town on business and totally slipped my mind. Let me make it up to you. Yes?" Sometimes just acknowledging the fact that you FUCKED UP, could "alleviate" the fact that you FUCKED UP.

JOSEPH PATRICK!!!!

I hope you encounter a crazy woman and makes you pay for all of us you didn't give a shit about (cause I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one you treated this way). Your ex-wife was a smart woman. I should stick to my dating rule #6586935453 "DO NOT GO ON A DATE WITH A DIVORCED MAN".

Boy I have to stop listening to my friends.

It doesn't have to be dirty

We all know that NYC is disgusting!  Whoever thinks or claims or even dares to say that NYC is a clean city should be shot in the head.  Plain and simple.

I have come up with a great solution to this problem.  How about we get all those parasites that are on welfare and put them to work?  They ARE receiving money, pay super cheap rents and receive health benefits while the workers have to break their backs to barely make it to pay $800+ rents and some of us can't afford to have health benefits.  Welfare people receive money for sitting on their asses.  How about we give them money and cheap rents in exchange for a lil clean-up?  If we put every single one of these parasites to work cleaning our streets, subways and parks, we would have a prettier/cleaner city.

The city wouldn't have to create jobs and look for funding for these jobs since these people are already getting "paid" and receiving "benefits."

Why hasn't this been done yet???

IF I WERE PRESIDENT.

To travel is better than to arrive

"Some famous guy once said "To travel is better than to arrive." And I was like, "What?" Because I used to think there was only one path to take, to where you want to be in life. But if you choose that one path, it doesn't mean you have to abandon all the others. I realize that it is actually what happens along the way what counts. The stumbles... you know, the falls and the friendships. It's the journey, not the destination. You just got to... I guess trust that the future will work itself out like it's supposed to." - Step Up 3

Because not everything on this blog is a rant ;-)

Who raised this kid?

Ok so last week I was emailing this guy and we set up a date for today (Thursday). He specifically said he would call me THIS week to talk about specifics. That was LAST week. Probably Thursday. What I didn’t realize was that HE was expecting ME to keep my calendar open for his sorry ass up until THE day of the “date” without having ANY type of communication whatsoever.

And no, he never called ever called nor he emailed me again, but I did receive a text from him @ 8:54 am today (Thursday). And here is how it went.

John: “Hey. It’s John from POF. Are we still on for tonight?” < < < Dude has some nerve! Not even a “good morning”? Who raised this kid???

Me: “U can’t be serious, right? I didn’t hear from u so I made plans. And good morning u too.”

John: “Ur a trip.”

Short and sweet, eh?

I thought about it for a second. I really wanted to tell him that he spelled “Ure/You’re” incorrectly. My friends… there IS a difference between Your/Ur and You’re/Ure. For some reason, most Caucasian guys (that’s my dating preference) can’t spell for their life! Anyways, it was just my immature side that wanted to make him feel a lil stupid or irk him in some way. But I figured I’d just ignore his uneducated white ass and call it a day.

Sometimes I just can’t be bothered.

NEXT!!!!

"Body type"

Have you ever read online dating profiles where people state their “body type” to be “athletic”? Have you then proceed to look at the pictures not to only find out that (1) there are NO full body pictures – to corroborate this statement; and (2) find all sorts of “head shot” pictures that show… a double chin?

Do you really think we won’t notice you’re chunky just because you STATED you were “athletic”? What about IF we meet, and I expect to see an “athletic body”, like you have claimed? Do you really think you can get away with that? -- I honestly I don’t see how! I am sorry but playing ping pong or watching sports on TV doesn’t give you an “athletic” body nor will make you look “athletic” when you are obviously carrying pounds on your face and neck… and possibly on your torso.

Oh and… NO! “prefer not to say” doesn’t make you look any good either. Just be honest with yourself! Either way, those picture speak for themselves.

Somehow, somewhere, the definitions of “athletic”, “average”, and a “few extra pounds” lost their real meaning and now it just makes it even more … uh… “interesting” to browse through these online profiles.

This just keeps getting better and better.

*** *** ***

**I found these definitions surfing the world wide web. Hopefully it will help you understand these body type "parameters" and if you're the honest type, you will fix your profile accordingly.**

Thin:No body fat, to negligible body fat, has the body of a professional model (Male or Female)

Athletic:Just that, body is toned, no flab, and this is clearly different then Thin, Athletic is Athletic

Average:Not Thin, exactly Average is what it means, you are the right weight for your height, and are not A Few Extra Pounds, but you are not Athletic because you are not toned.

A Few Extra Pounds:Just this, you would need to lose 15 pounds or less to be in the Average Body Type

Between A Few Extra Pounds & BBW or Bear Like:Would need to lose 16 pounds or more, but not a BBW or Bear Like

BBW:Just that, a Big Beautiful Woman

Bear LikeJust this, the male equivalent of a BBW.

Not far from the truth.

The advantages of having an “honest” guy friend

Happy hump day to me! And what’s a hump day without talking a wee bit about sex early in the morning, eh? No, I did not have company last night. What I did have was an interesting text exchange between a guy I met a while back (probably in 2008) through Match.com. What! We have kept communication open. Nothing wrong with that. Hi J!!!! ;-)

Anywhos, I have been reading this book called “Dating Sucks” and it is so right on its scary! As I read through the chapters, all I can think of is “I could’ve written this!”. Whatever, the thing is that I quoted a couple of lines on facebook and my dear friend just HAD to contact me. If you read this… When are we going to meet up for those drinks??? Too busy being a manhoe? *sigh*

Here’s the exchange [enjoy!]:

J: Yep. It’s hard to find a decent dude. Id think there’s def more quality women out there. Men are guided by their penis’ and ego and insecurities most of the time.

J: I’m not one of them and neither are my friends. We’re a different breed. We’re aware of women’s feelings.

Me: Ima quote you on my blog. That was good… at least the first part of it, totally agree!

J: however, I enjoy being single. I do love to make love to a woman. There, lies an issue if one of those women are not comfortable with that. I do think there are a bunch of guys out there who feel and act the same. Loving to give love but not wanting a lasting commitment to one being.

Me: so you think u make love w all these women? U wouldn’t call it fucking? Or sex? To make love id assume ud have to be in love, no?

Me: and… do you tell/inform these girls that “this” has a two week shelve life before the fact? Cause if you don’t … you have to be aware that you are “the asshole” in their conversations.

J: LOL. Not all interactions are similar. AND its not like I’m banging away with multiple women each week or month. You can have a connection with someone and make love on one or a few occasions. The feelings reciprocal and no, I’m not THAT asshole. I will admit that I have been that asshole a few times in my life but I care about others feelings and really only ‘get off’ if they ‘get off’ so all are usually happy.

J: We are gonna have to speak because texting sometimes clouds and miscommunicates.

Me: But do they know there’s no possible future? You didn’t answer that. Do you tell them “I love my freedom” or “I don’t want a committed relationship” or “this is just sex” or anything like that?

At this point he calls me, but I’m at work so I can’t really have this conversation. I pick up and tell him I’m at work and can’t really talk [about this] and proceed to tell him to call me tonight at 8pm if he gets a chance.

Even though right now it’s too damned early for this shit, I am REALLY curious about what he’s got to say about this.

To be continued…

Brainless?

Often I wonder if men are given a brain at birth or if that part of the process just skips them altogether?

I was currently talking with this dude I met online. We emailed back and forth, on and off, for 2 weeks. I was either too busy with my life or with other dates and I’m sure he was/is on the same boat. But yesterday he texted me and today seems like more of the same. He’s a “jokester”. Nothing wrong with that, right? But I wonder, will I ever be able to have a serious conversation with him that doesn’t necessarily involves “LOL’s”?

This morning he sent me a “piggy” comment. On this end, I was trying to figure out if he really meant it or if he was kidding. Regardless of what the intention behind it was, I am not for any type of “sexual” or “disrespectful” texting or conversation with someone I don’t know or haven’t even met. The conversation went like this:

Me: -“Are you one of those PIGS that want bikini pictures?”
Him: -“Haha. Only if it’s a thong bikini.”

So… I stopped texting him. Tried to figure out if he’s a pig or not and then after about an hour…

Him: -“Where did you go?”
Me: -“I’m here. Just trying to get over the bad joke”
Him: -“Ha. Oh please.”
Me: -“I don’t know if you are aware but there’s a LOT of sick PIGS online and for a second there you sounded like one. If you can’t see that then, ooooh well!”
Him: -“I was teasing silly”
Me: -“I don’t know you so how would I be able to know? Hello?!?!
Him: -“Fair enough. I apologize if I made you feel uncomfortable.”

Who raises these kids?

Daily News did it again!

We'll I can't be complaining ALL the time! LOL

I wanna give yet another GRACIAS to the Daily News for providing me with FOUR more tickets to go see the Yankees v. Texas Rangers. I will be taking three lucky girlfriends to the game.

@ the Yankees v. (I forgot who the opossing team was) game 5/11/2011

I love freebies!!! YAY!

Sneakers or high heels?

Throughout the years I have learned that first dates mean absolutely nothing. You can go out on a date and be totally horrendous from the beginning, or you can go on a date where everything falls into place. Regardless of the scenario, I can tell you this… no matter how great you thought that first date went (or even how great you feel or look), you are not assured a second one.

So… why go through the aggravation of putting on make up and wearing uncomfy shoes for a stranger? The percentage of us seeing each other again is VERY slim. Why prep myself with nice stuff for a guy that (1) could be a total jackass; or (2) will most likely never see again in my life?

Here’s my theory: I show up as comfortable as possible (if the date is on a work night or a Sunday -- Saturdays are a different story). If the date goes well and he likes me AND we go out on a second date, THEN I’ll dress to impress and be a lil uncomfy. I am not all done up 24/7, so why missrepresent myself on a first date? I want someone to like how I look either wearing sweatpants or jeans… short or long dress. Sneakers and flip flops, sandals and high heels.

So I’ll keep showing up as the real me. Later if lighting strikes, then I’ll make sure I’ll “shine” for the one that stuck around even tho I looked like ass.

Damned shoes!

So last Saturday I went out with one of my good friends.

Our original plans were to have some drinks and then go watch a movie... or maybe drinks and dinner. Whatever. The point is that the main character of the night was going to be Mr. Booze. Cause... When your love life sucks and your job is a job is a job, all you wanna do is drink to make it all better... for a couple hours at least.

Well, we wanted a low key night and skip the aggravation of going to a bar or lounge and realize once again what we were NOT missing, so we decided against drinks at a bar and went straight for dinner... and drinks on the side. Simply deliciousness. She had her precious wine. I had my sweet Khalua & milk. She had her salad. I had my brazilian rice, beans and chicken... and then... we walked to the movies.

Sometimes I wished I had a motorized scooter so I could roll around Manhattan w/o a care in the world.

Not only my job is a pain in my ass and my love life totally sucks, but now my feet feel just how they look.

Why do I wear "cute" shoes again???

SHOOT ME!

Excuse YOU!

Have you ever been at a movie theater and decided to go to the bathroom before the movie starts so you wont miss a thing?

Well, last night I dared to make such a decision.

Just imagine me walking the long walk to the bathroom (I REALLY had to go), and as I am speeding up toward the glorious "WOMEN'S RESTROOM" sign, this man walking the opposite way, leans towards me and

Oh yes he did. He burped at me.

Now THAT's some new kinda sexy.

I wonder what I'll have to endure next.

DATING SUCKS!!!

Well, well, well... I was browsing around dating topics and I found the book Dating Sucks! Couldn't help myself so I bought it (an used copy of course, wich I will be lending my friends for their own informational entertainment).

Reading a book about a topic I very much well know can't hurt... can it? I mean, how much more cynical could I possibly get? LOL